Week 0 Day 6

Yeah so the potluck was the beginning of yet another binge. I have eaten some things that are good & a lot of things that are terrible. Yesterday I decided that I needed to try counseling again. I was skeptical since I have tried counselors before, but in each instance I felt like the counselor just wanted to treat the symptom (my eating) by giving me a diet to try rather than dig further and discover why I’m addicted to food. So this time I asked her (Kathleen) if she had experience with weight issues before I even confirmed an appointment.

She said that weight issues come from a food addiction, which is not unlike alcoholism, or other addictions. It comes from when we try to look outside ourselves for control, comfort etc. She said she tries to focus on how to look within because a diet won’t work permanently until that is addressed. I could totally relate to this because I feel like my eating is a compulsion most times and that while I have had short-term success with some dieting, I have trouble keeping it going. I’m excited to see someone who doesn’t write off my issues as just plain laziness or lack of ambition. My appointment is for Thursday evening (week 1 day 2) so I’m looking forward to that.

Wednesday evening (a.k.a. tomorrow night) I have another Jenny Craig weigh in. This won’t be good & I can see crying in my future (this whole weight business is pretty emotional for me). I am meeting with Cathy, since my Jenny consultant was promoted. Cathy intimidates me a lot. I’m not really sure what I’m going to say to her after the scale shows yet another increase & I say that I couldn’t still with the menu plan this week…the truth I guess?