Day 61 Post Weigh In Day

All right so yesterday was a weigh in night. And not just any weigh in night but a weigh in after the Christmas Binging Extravaganza. The final damage was another 3 pound weight GAIN. I think I missed the part of Jenny Craig orientation when we discussed that we're hear to lose weight not gain it! Anyway over the last 60+ days I have balanced out to a weight loss of 10 pounds. Some of you might shun the amount as little but the way I'm trying to look at it is: if I hadn't joined Jenny Craig then I wouldn't have lost any weight BUT I probably would have still gained some at Christmas time so I am actually down anywhere from 10-20 pounds from where I would be if I hadn't started this journey...

Last night after weigh in Cat had finally gained a few pounds. I say finally, because I have gone up in weight on three separate weeks and despite the fact that she has been cheating on the diet as well, she has continued to lose weight. She actually seemed surprized to know she went up. But what do you expect? You can't expect to continue to cheat and still see results, can you? Then when I went to drop her off I kind of felt like she was giving me a guilt trip about my vacation and how I don't want to lose everything I've worked for...

Within the next week I have leftover Christmas food, a New Year's Eve party and Tyler being home all week as obstacles. On New Year's Eve we are going to a Greek restaurant and then back to Mary's. My weigh in will be on Tuesday night as we are leaving for Edmonton on Wednesday. After my weigh in, I then have two weeks at an all inclusive resort to deal with. I'm really looking forward to our vacation (Tyler & I). Once all this stuff is over, I have about 10 months of NO EXCUSES. I am actually looking forward to having time to focus on my eating habits and exercising.

Maybe for the first time in my life I will make a New Year's resolution? I have have a tendancy to mock resolutions as they seem so cliche but maybe there is something to it eh? After all this year I don't have a wedding to plan, I don't have a house to build & I don't think I'll be making any career changes if I can help it!

Day 54

Yesterday I had a weigh in & measure...I am up 3+ pounds since last week and down 3+ inches since last measure (4 weeks ago). So from the start I have down a sticky total of about 13 pounds and 13 inches.

I haven't written on here faithfully for a while, my motivation for doing well is low & I'm pretty sure I'm high on sugar right now.

I love Christmas but I don't like what it's doing to my diet. Okay let's be real here, I'm the one who is not doing my diet. I guess I just feel like I don't have the energy to devote to resisting temptation and keeping with my plan. So for now I have been overindulging, trying to keep up my water intake and trying to exercise at least 3 times per week. So far the other two things (water & exercise) have been going well. Tomorrow night marks the meal of my Christmas family weekend and I am not very optimistic going into it. It's kind of depressing.

P.S. - Cat is 1/2 a pound away from a 20 pound weight loss...

Day 46 Weigh in Wednesday

I am pretty happy right now...had weigh in tonight & here's the numbers:

6.7 lbs down this week

TOTAL of 16.7 lbs lost!!!

Yeah baby that's awesome...it works out to an average of 2.5 lbs per week which is more than excellent. The positives of this week (in addition to my weight loss) is that I have increased my water intake by using Crystal Light mixes, I went to the gym 3 times this week and I minimalized my cheating.

Cons of this week: well that I still cheated. But hey, it's the holiday season and I am doing pretty darn well I think. Plus I tried to either keep my calories within my 1500/day limit or workout at the gym to make up for my indiscretions...

This week's biggest challenge: my work christmas dinner this saturday. I'm not planning on limiting myself too much that evening. I'm going to eat what I want, feel satisfied not guilty & work extra hard at the gym this weekend. Christmas itself is only 11 more sleeps away...crazy.

Day 45

I think it's day 45 but I'm not entirely sure! What I am sure of is that I haven't been making my entries as consistently as I should be. How has it been going though?

Well thursday & friday went really well. I stuck to my plan really closely and felt good about it. On saturday I was out shopping & I gave in to an egg nog orange julius & some swedish berries. Then yesterday (sunday) I also had some chocolate covered almonds. Then today I wasn't in the mood for my supper (ravioli) so I subbed in some soup which is low fat & low calorie.

I discovered as I was going through my pantry today that I am short 2 items from my list this week: my mixed nuts & my BBQ Pita Puffs. "Soq-la-bleu" as I say...it really cheeves me off that they can't get my order right. Especially since last week they forgot my cheese curls. Like as if they couldn't forget like something more crappy...but NOOO it has to be my snacks.

Now it is about 10pm, I am nursing a headache & I'm about 150 calories short of what I should have ate today...on the other hand that could be a good thing so I think after I type this up I should head to bed (in bed before 11? hell must have frozen over). If I think about it too long I'll come up with a hundred things I could do & I won't get to bed at a decent hour so, adios amigos I am going to bed.

Day 39 (minus 7 days) Weigh in Wednesday

Binge day after binge day after binge day has me arriving at weigh in already. The sad news: I gained a few pounds. So the up to date info is the I am down a total of about 10 lbs at this point versus the 12.1 lbs I was down last week.

Thankfully the damage was minimalized to what it was. I cheated, yep every single day this last week. How sad is that? I'm disappointed with myself but I have to move forward. I think I kept cheating this week because I was dwelling on my failure(s). Tomorrow is a new day & the start of a fresh week.

My jenny consultant (it was a different girl this week) was really positive when I talked to her tonight. Instead of making me feel worse about my choices she took the opportunity to do some investigative work on what the obstacles were & how we can prevent them from coming up again. She asked me how the food part was going and I admitted to her that not only am I picky and I don't like at least a 1/3 of the menu but I also desperately need variety in my diet or I tend to stray. Plus I have a strong need for control over my food decisions (I don't like the idea that someone is telling me what to do). So she took out the list of the foods they have & we personalized my entire week. Basically I handpicked what I will be eating this week. Which means if I feel pouty about something then I need to blame myself, cuz I chose it!!!

I feel really positive about this week going forward. Despite my food discretions I did make it to the gym 3 times (2- 45 minutes & 1-25 minute workouts) during the week. That's progress. So my focus for the upcoming week is adherence to my menu plan & going to the gym for my minimum of 3 times. Perhaps my cheat week will get that rebelliousness out of my system for a little while.

I also got a new hairdo last night so I'm hoping that a fresh new look will help motivate me to do my best: if at first you don't succeed, try, try again right?!

Day 38 (minus 6 days for cheating)

Why do I keep cheating this week? Or more accurately this month. Isn't that the question. I'm not really sure. I have noticed that sometimes I really care & want to stick with this whole system & my progress, and others I'm like f*ck it: I want KFC so I'm eating KFC. More specifically I'm talking about last night. I consciously made the decision to go through the KFC drive through and order my dinner from there last night. The chicken strips & poutine tasted good but shortly after & straight through to right now my stomach hurt. Most intelligent people would say, hey my body is rejecting this so maybe it isn't good for me & maybe I shouldn't eat it. Non-intelligent people (such as myself) go, hey i might as well shovel some cookies in my mouth while I'm at it.

Why do I sabotage myself? I don't really cheat when others are around (like at work) but when I'm home alone I sometimes sneak things in. I guess I sometimes feel that when I control the food that goes in my mouth I have power, no one else. What good has this power done for me though? It's left me with a body that is lumpy, unattractive, ill functioning and pathetic. I'm so screwed up. What really jerks my chain is that I know I've got some mental work to do but every time I try to see a counselor about it they just give me their opinion of what diet I should be on & what exercise I should be doing.

Tomorrow, Kelsey (yes, ms.ketchup chips) is planning on joining my gym and doing weight training & aerobic exercises with me. That's exciting. It's so much more motivating to go to the gym when someone you know is going to be there...well somewhat. It can be intimidating, but at the same time, motivating. Tomorrow is also weigh in, & I am really feeling like I should be up this week. Maybe being up, will be a wake up call to get my act together...I just can't help but realize that this time last year I was dieting & I wasn't successful. How can I change my mindset and taste buds to stay on track permanently?

Day 35

I am been on a bit of a binge the last three days:

Thursday night I went to the Express 24 and bought beef jerky(80g) & 2 giant licorice. Then proceeded to eat all.

Friday I had boston pizza for lunch which is fine but then I ate 3 Reese's Peanut Butter cups (which I have to admit were divine).

Saturday (today), I ate a kid's size buttered popcorn at the theatre & then when I didn't like my supper I ate an entire bag of beef jerky (113g) and an entire can of soup.

It's possible that I'm feeling some cravings because I'm PMSing. Also Tyler has been home all week so I've been feeling the need to be "normal".

At least I went to the gym on the elliptical for 45 minutes (450 calories).